Along with most of you, I trust, I am thankful to have the basic blessings of health, safety, and a home at the start of 2025, and our hearts are with those who don’t have those things right now. I confess I am sometimes guilty of complaining about whatever little trivialities may be less than perfect where I live.

For example, one of my own peccadillos has been the scarcity of good, fresh, handmade sausages in our chain grocery stores where I live. I was spoiled by being able to buy great ones in local butcher shops and even in the grocery stores when I lived in Chicago and the Buffalo area, with fresh herbs that smelled great even when they were raw. We do have some country farmers here who make wonderful breakfast sausage, but I would not use those in spaghetti.

So, a while back I decided to make my own Italian sausages. I bought a sausage grinding and stuffing horn attachment for our electric stand mixer, plus some hog casings online, and I was able to make some pretty good ones. I froze some and even gave some as gifts. They take a while but are actually pretty easy and fun to make.

A few days ago, in celebration of my  new symphony, subtitled “English,” I decided to try to make English Bangers, like they have in British pubs with “Bangers and Mash.” They are called that because in England during their WWII food shortages they used to fill them out with extra water to make them appear bigger. So, when cooked they would explode with a bang! Nowadays, it is standard to prick them with a few pin holes when raw, so they vent and don’t explode.

I found a company online called PS Seasoning that sells the dry ingredients for many kinds of sausage, so I ordered a bag of authentic banger seasoning with binder (various finely ground grains)! You only need about a tablespoon of this mix per pound of ground pork, which is enough for authentic banger flavor and texture. Once mixed, you can fry a small sample and taste it (it tasted delish!), and adjust the spices in the rest of the raw sausage before stuffing it into the casings. Below are some photos I took of my banger-making.  

The bangers are browned and served with brown onion gravy and mashed potatoes. The gravy has lots of onions and garlic, with beef stock and dark beer or red wine.  You can find various recipes for this gravy online. Some of the more exotic ingredients can include Worcestershire sauce, balsamic vinegar, English mustard, or even Marmite, to taste. I’ve only just made the banger sausages this week and have not cooked them, so the last photo is from the Internet (the first eight I took as I went).

I’m relieved that with all these holiday meals I have at least not gained weight. But I am back on my diet now in earnest. I just watched a draft of the Raffaella Ballet performance video from last June. When I saw myself go up on stage for a bow at the very end, I was mortified by how huge I was. I suddenly realized how much smaller I am now by comparison, having shed around 40 pounds so far. As I’m fond of pointing out, imagine carrying around in your body the weight of four 10-pound sacks of flour! When you only see and feel a tiny loss gradually over time, though, you don’t realize how much different you now look. I still have some more to go, not sure how much. The mirror will decide.

Music

As noted here on Dec. 19, I completed a new movement of a new (4^th) symphony (the 2^nd movement) and am happy that it feels “done”. So I’ve been back in the silent period of gestation and reflection before starting another. This can take more soul-searching than when I’m actually composing the piece. During these dry times I listen to lots of great music with the score, searching for kindred musical spirits. This is not to “steal” from them, but simply to be filled with inspiration generally and a desire to compose something of my own.

In regard to the next, upcoming movement (which will be movement one), I only know so far that I want it to be more dark or serious than the already-composed second, “loon” movement is – but dark in what way? Words are so inadequate. Since the symphony is to be subtitled “The Enchanted Lake,” I think what I’m really looking for is something “mysteriously beautiful”. I know I want this to be the “swan” movement. There are several lovely swan pieces in classical music, but I think this one needs to be a more mystical and searching swan, more in the spirit of The Swan of Tuonela by Sibelius. Such conceptual thinking is where I begin my creative process. But from where the notes themselves will come remains the real mystery.

So, what does sausage have to do with composing music? For me, cooking is a metaphor for composing. First, simply, you are preparing something with love for others to enjoy. There is also some magical alchemy in the emotional nuance of, say, exactly how much paprika or balsamic to add, or musically, where to put a suspension or a certain change of chord or key. Those details are often what creates those spine-shivering responses we feel, both in food and in music. Call me idealistic, but I want to discover and express for myself, and share with others, whatever wordless things are in the bottom of my soul, so others can feel them, too – things my words can only suggest but not fully capture.

This time, for example, I know I want something “dark,” but not a darkness devoid of beauty. Maybe “serious” is the better word than dark. Only notes can truly say it, though. Songwriters will argue that words and music can enhance each other, and I don’t entirely disagree. But maybe in vocal music the words are like the nouns or subjects, and the music provides the adjectives and adverbs? So maybe an instrumental symphony is pure adjective and adverb? So, in a song, John (the subject) feels anxious (adverb). In contrast, a symphony might simply present human “anxiousness” in the abstract, and leave John out of it. I think I’ve just proven again the inadequacy of words.    

So long for now.